Time for a new round of You Might Be a Terrorist

Been a couple of months. I wonder how the federal government is coming on those concentration, uh, FEMA camps.....Still time for another round of required federal reports in several industries that might suggest that you too are a terrorist:

1. Airport Service Providers -- Includes on-craft providers: baggage, cleaners, cargo, catering, mechanics, ground crew, food service, cleaners, security, taxi, limos, and shuttles.

2. Beauty/Drug Suppliers -- People who have burn marks, missing limbs, travel a long distance, nervous, who are picked up, make illogical requests (even of consumer-grade products).

3. Bulk Fuel Distributors -- New customers not from the area, those using cash for large transactions, nervous, large purchases, having a rental vehicle.

4. Construction Sites -- People with environmental slogans and/or anti-government slogans, banners or signs that threaten or imply violence.

5. Dive/Boat Shops -- New customers reluctant to provide complete personal information, customer who does not have certification, using cash for expensive transactions, extended rentals, appearing uninterested in safety rules, experiencing guarded behavior.

6. Electronics Stores -- Person who alters appearance from visit to visit (changing hair color, shaving, etc.), fills a "shopping list" of components while lacking knowledge about their use. Pays cash for large purchases.

7. Farm Supply Stores -- New customers not from the area, nervous or impatient, suspicious inquiries regarding equipment specifications, failing to state legitimate use for supplies, rental vehicle, cash for large transactions.

8. Financial Institutions -- No evidence for legitimate business activity, those with multiple accounts, banks, parties, and jurisdictions (layering). Mixed deposits (money orders, third-party checks, and/or payroll into a business account). Large volume of wire transfers, or repetitive patterns, shell entities, "pass through" points by foreign jurisdictions.

9. General Aviation -- Taking flying lessons but appear uninterested, renting under vague reasons for doing so, requests to fly over specific locations without substantiated reason, taking pictures or videos of potentially sensitive locations, actions outside the norm, parking near the perimeter of airport, asking questions without substantiation.

10. General Public -- Basically everything exhibited by those with an inquisitive nature: questions, note taking, drawing, annotating maps, inappropriate photos or videos, people in places where they do not belong.

11. Hobby Shops -- Interest in remote-controlled aircraft, interest that does not seem genuine, possessing little knowledge of purchase, exhibiting unusual interest, exhibiting no interest, using cash for large transactions.

12. Home Improvement and Large Retail Stores -- Large quantity of ammunition, firearms and ammunition out of season, combination of unusual items, interest in night vision and camouflage apparel, purchases of pipe fittings and supplies, rental vehicle, refusal to complete firearms paperwork, using cash for large transactions.

13. Hotels/Motels -- "Request specific room assignments or locations.","Use cash for large transactions or a credit card in someone else’s name.","Arrive with unusual amounts of luggage.","Make unusual inquiries about local sites, including government, military, police, communications, and power facilities.","Refuse cleaning service over an extended time.","Use entrances and exits that avoid the lobby.","Abandon a room and leave behind clothing and toiletry items.","Do not leave their room.","Change their appearance."

14. Internet Cafes -- Travel far to get to one, "Are overly concerned about privacy, attempts to shield the screen from view of others", "Always pay cash or use credit card(s) in different name(s)", "Act nervous or suspicious behavior inconsistent with activities", "Are observed switching SIM cards in cell phone or use of multiple cell phones"

15. Shopping Malls -- Wearing backpacks, discreet use of cameras, note-taking, or video over an extended period, several men arriving together then splitting up, continuing to communicate (dry run?), speaking to security guards, comments regarding radical theology, vague or cryptic warnings, or anti-U.S. sentiments that appear out of place and provocative.

16. Martial Arts/Paintball -- Insist on paying with cash, travels long distance to participate, interest in learning offensive moves in a confined space, learning the use of hidden weapons, learning kill and restraint techniques with no occupational need, group training, uttering racist, religious, unusual, anti-US, or vague and cryptic warnings, close combat training, paintball tactics of ambush or kidnapping scenarios, operating a private facility, converting large plots of rural land to conduct these activities.

17. Mass Transportation -- Altering one's appearance, exhibiting burns, bleached body hair, concealed wires, nervous, actions suggesting use of a hidden camera, unusual comments, questioning security/facility personnel via normal means of communication, groups arriving together then splitting up and communicating via cell phone.

18. Military Surplus -- Demanding identity privacy, insisting on paying with cash, suspicious comments, bulk purchases.

19. Peroxide Explosives -- Unknown customer, individual requesting more information.

20. Recognizing Sleepers -- Arrival from countries where violent militant Islamic groups are known to operate, long unexplained absences, fury at the West for reasons ranging from personal problems to global policies of the U.S., conspiracy theories about Westerners (e.g. the CIA arranged for 9/11 to legitimize the invasion of foreign lands), accusing the West of trying to destroy Islam.

21. Rental Cars -- Reluctance to provide complete personal information, using cash, unusual questions.

22. Rental Properties -- Using cash for large transactions, inquiries about local sites, refusing maintenance or service over extended time, not using property for intended purpose, unusual number of package deliveries, unusual amounts of traffic, discovery of unusual items.

23. Rental Trucks -- Reluctance to provide personal information, cash for large transactions, inquiries about renting a truck with a wooden floor, questions about vehicle specifications.

24. Storage Facilities -- Failing to provide complete personal information, using cash to pay fees in advance, placing unusual items in storage, disposing of tools, gloves, masks, or clothing, discarding clothes or shoes in new condition, avoiding contact with rental facility personnel, accessing facility an unusual number of times, storing items that emit unusual odors or leak liquids.

25. Tattoo Shops -- Demanding identity "privacy," paying cash, altering appearance (beard, hair style, hair color, style of dress, etc.), making racist or extreme statements, suspicious comments that suggest or appear to endorse violence in support of a cause, repeated returns with multiple individuals requesting identical tattoos, inquiries about unusual methods of tattooing or placement which could allow the concealment of extremist symbols.

So remember folks, under the new National Defense of America Act, you too can win an all expense paid trip to an undisclosed FEMA camp for these activities.