Apparently yesterday as I descended into the madness that is autistic based morality, I started out with something worth discussing.
That point got utterly lost once somebody said the word "inappropriate" to me. All my posts for the rest of the day in that thread were the exact opposite of that wonderful bit of advice I started with.
I still think any form of sex that does not embrace the procreative and unitive aspects of heterosexual lifelong monogamy is essentially rape. It's more rape of the "date rape" definition than of the "kidnap, tie up this woman and rape her with a chainsaw" type, but NEITHER is a good thing to do, and both will harm the other person involved, as well as harm yourself.
But having said that there is also the point that you need to take people where they are. Ideals are great, but sometimes the road from current reality to ideal, or even from mortal sin to possibly getting into purgatory someday, is indeed a long one- and people need to be free to make that journey on their own.