Monday, April 5, 2010

Sure wish the anti-Catholics would make up their minds

So, is the Roman Catholic Church too judgemental? Or too merciful?

Or is it just that some people who want it to be merciful for *THEIR* favorite sins, don't like it when the Church is merciful for *OTHER PEOPLE'S* favorite sins?

We're Catholic. We're supposed to believe in *forgiveness* more than sin. But being merciful to a child abuser, apparently, is the unforgivable sin among some Catholics.

Friday, April 2, 2010

An alternative, if crazier than usual, conspiracy theory

The Vatican is claiming that they're being attacked by a Witch Hunt from the New York Times. Well, after reading a few rad-trad Catholic sites and doing my own reading of the NYT's so-called document trail, I think it might go deeper than that, at least if you're schizophrenic, paranoid, and off your meds:

In 1963, the Masonic Pope John XIII convened Vatican II to get the Roman Catholic Church to change it's teaching about God in a very fundamental way. God was no longer the wrathful judge and strict father figure we had grown to love, no, suddenly he's smokin' ganga and handing out mercy to any sinner who asks.

Fast forward 10 years, and a priest in Wisconsin by the Name of Fr. Murphy has been hiding in the confessional, molesting deaf boys during the infamous American Hippie Summer of Love (well, he ended in the Summer of Love, he'd really been doing it for a lot longer before that, but he's clearly a dirty hippie and a member of the vast Masonic Conspiracy against the Church). The families complain to the secular police, but, this being 1974 as the hit TV Drama "Life on Mars" (either American or British Version) would remind us, the secular police figure deaf boys are not credible witnesses and do nothing. The Archbishop removes Fr. Murphy from his post to protect deaf boys in the future, and sends him home to live with his mother for the next 20 years.

Fast Forward to 1996- the Gay and Active Homosexual Archbishop Weakland finds out about the sins of Fr. Murphy- which stopped in 1974. Playing with deaf boys is apparently too much for Archbishop Weakwrist- so he writes to Cardinal Ratzinger for help. After badgering Cardinal Ratzinger for 8 months, the CDF gives in and orders a defrocking trial for Fr. Murphy- who hasn't said a Mass in public in 22 years anyway.

Fast forward another 2 years, and Fr. Murphy is near death. He writes out his confession and sends it to the CDF- claiming to be repentant for his past sins and begging for Mercy (remember, that's what the liberals wanted for the Church- preaching a more merciful God, back in Vatican II). He gets his mercy- the CDF stops the trial- and dies two days later, still a priest (despite the fact that the trial would have ended in his defrocking, had it continued and had he not died before the Prosecution had finished interviewing witnesses).

Fast forward 12 more years- Cardinal Ratzinger is now Pope, and the liberal New York Times suddenly, 12 years after the fact, breaks this story. But apparently times have changed, and the liberals are no longer for Mercy- so they're suddenly asking the Pope why he gave Fr. Murphy mercy on his death bed.

No, I don't believe the above conspiracy theory either- but Fucking Dirty Hippies seem to have caused *both* the scandal in the first place (after all, Fr. Murphy's sins took place, at the end, during the "Summer of Love" when we were supposed to free ourselves here in America from all sexual morality), and the response (Mercy for past sins! Forgiveness for all!), and the response to the response (The Pope must resign for his coverup! He didn't defrock this priest!). Which leaves Pope Benedict XVI, not a perpetrator, but a VICTIM!
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Oustside The Asylum by Ted Seeber is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License.
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